Tonight I sit and write as we make a trip that we made once before five years ago. Tonight we make the trip from Philadelphia to Cape May to attend yet another Coast Guard gravitation. As I sit here knowing my heart should be filled with pride for my youngest brother in law, it is instead filled with heartbreak. See my world looks a whole lot different than it did five years ago. See five years ago we were beginning our journey with the Coast Guard. I was a proud girlfriend in the crowd watching my handsome boyfriend pursue his passion. He stood proudly as he graduated from basic training. He was so excited for the adventures that were to come. He could not wait to report to New Orleans for his first station. He has every intention to follow his heart's desire to become a rescue diver. And for me, I knew that I had signed up to someday be his loving Coast Guard wife. That dream was quickly shattered three years ago this week, and tonight on this car ride I sit res