Beautiful Struggles

My Sweet Princess,  One month, how did that happen? There's a Winnie The Pooh quote that states "Oh no, please. Can't we just go back to page one and start all over again?", and sweet baby that is exactly how I feel. Oh how I would love to go back to day one and meet you all over again, and yet I cannot wait to see who you become.  You currently look just like your daddy, especially with your beautiful almond shaped eyes. Your hair is a light brown, but I believe everyone still has their fingers crossed that you will end up with red hair like your daddy (though I would be okay with a brown haired little girl). Your eyes my sweet girl are blue, I believe they are my eyes (but who knows). Your eyes have changed from sleepy eyes that look like they are looking through you to these big blue eyes that are filled with wonder. My favorite moments are when you are lying on my chest and you turn and look up at me. In those moments I feel like you know exactly who

Today marks two weeks since we brought our princess home to Dusk Way, two weeks since we started this grand adventure of parenthood without nurses and doctors guiding us along the way. Yet, I have been trying to process her birth for the last 17 days. I have gone over with doctors, nurses, my incredible husband, and my sweet mom the events that happened over two days that eventually led to bringing our daughter into the world. So today, two weeks after we have come home, I sit here to type out Eloise's birth story in hopes of possibly finding some understanding, or at least to have it documented. Ellie's birth story is actually much longer than just her birth, it started two the week prior to ever moving forward with her induction. On November 10th I contacted my doctor after suffering from a severe headache (almost migraine like) for two days, I was extremely swollen, and had been vomiting. I will never forget the terror I felt when Nikki, our nurse, called m