Beautiful Struggles

Most of my pregnancy I panicked, cried, stressed, and mourned the fact that my tiny Ellie girl was not going to be the baby anymore. I felt as though I was forcing her to grow up long before she was ready. I questioned how in the world my heart would be able to love another the way I love Ellie. I felt as though I was hurting her and even more so I was stealing her ability of being a baby away from her. In the months leading up to Nola’s birth we tried very hard to spend and celebrate Ellie as much as possible while also talking to her about sister. She loved to kiss sister while we were in the bath or I was getting dressed. She would rock my tummy and sing by oh by. As we got closer and she was able to comprehend more she would grab my Doppler and try and find baby like the doctors would. She knew who the baby doctor was and was always excited to go. She was eager to give the baby goodnight kisses and tried constantly to lift up my shirt and see the baby. She rocked and held her b...

Nola Marie your birth story is like so many wonderful blessings in our life a story of redemption and of praise. Your birth story is something I longed for but I truly thought would not happen. Your birth story is much more than just the hours I was in labor, it started at the very first appointment I went to for our pregnancy. Immediately following finding out we were pregnant all I could think of was how I did not want a repeat c section. I did not want the trauma I went through last time, and I did not want to not be able to hold sweet Ellie. I wanted to be able to do it, I wanted to know I was strong enough for a vaginal delivery and that last time was not my fault. Knowing that the doctor that delivered Ellie was not a huge supporter of vbacs I knew we were going to need to switch OBGYNs, which I wasn’t necessarily devastated by considering how I felt about Ellie’s doctor following everything. I found the Ridgegate practice and immediately fell in love with Dr. Boylan and the ...