Most of my pregnancy I panicked, cried, stressed, and mourned the fact that my tiny Ellie girl was not going to be the baby anymore. I felt as though I was forcing her to grow up long before she was ready. I questioned how in the world my heart would be able to love another the way I love Ellie. I felt as though I was hurting her and even more so I was stealing her ability of being a baby away from her.
In the months leading up to Nola’s birth we tried very hard to spend and celebrate Ellie as much as possible while also talking to her about sister. She loved to kiss sister while we were in the bath or I was getting dressed. She would rock my tummy and sing by oh by. As we got closer and she was able to comprehend more she would grab my Doppler and try and find baby like the doctors would. She knew who the baby doctor was and was always excited to go. She was eager to give the baby goodnight kisses and tried constantly to lift up my shirt and see the baby. She rocked and held her baby dolls and practiced feeding it bottles. We talked about how you would love for and care for sister.
As the months turned into weeks and weeks into days we made sure to celebrate every minute we had with just our Ellie. We went to the zoo, as well as both the children’s museum and the natural history museum. I snuck her into our bed often to cuddle her through out the night. I did anything and everything I could to make her feel special. Which included obsessively thinking about how I wanted her to feel special on the day sister was born. I knew I wanted her to receive her first American girl bitty baby when she arrived at the hospital. I knew I wanted it to be just the four of us in the room and I knew I wanted photographer to forever capture these moments. I knew I didn’t want Ellie to come until I was up, and honestly she was a huge push for me to vbac so that when she came to the hospital I was up and functioning. I wanted to hold Ellie in the bed with me and I wanted to slowly introduce her baby sister to her.
At 2:30 pm on September 3rd Ellie girl arrived at the hospital. Dad rolled out to grab his girl and aunt Katie followed with the camera. I sat in the bed eagerly awaiting to see my princess. Kaleb had already given her her bitty baby so she would have a baby like mom’s new baby. They entered the room and she immediately came up to me and crawled over my lap to look at her new sister. She wanted to see her right away. Kaleb grabbed baby out of the bassinets and handed her to Ellie and me. Ellie looked at her with such wonder. She was amazed, and for the first time we were a family of four. We stared at the baby and Ellie told her “hi” countless times. We pointed out the baby’s eyes and ears and mouth. Nola sneezed and Ellie laughed then proceeded to fake sneeze. Ellie was given a big sister bracelet to match the baby’s, she sat with such joy. Ellie wanted to hold her right away and wouldn’t let her go. As yaya and papa came in Ellie was so proud of her new baby that she wouldn’t let go. She would let people look but wouldn’t let her go. Eventually after lots of tears yaya and papa were able to see and hold sister but not for long. When we got her back Ellie and mom and dad looked at the baby’s little feet, Ellie couldn’t get over how little her feet were. We looked at her belly button, Ellie was very concerned about her umbilical cord.
As the day went on Ellie’s interest in the baby didn’t waver much, but she did play with everyone that was there. Before she left she gave baby sister a Pooh bear that she has picked out. She hugged it kissed it put it in the baby’s bed and told her bye.
Ellie girl you are the best big sister and Nola is blessed to have you.
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