Skip to main content

A Trip I've Taken Once Before

Tonight I sit and write as we make a trip that we made once before five years ago. Tonight we make the trip from Philadelphia to Cape May to attend yet another Coast Guard gravitation. As I sit here knowing my heart should be filled with pride for my youngest brother in law, it is instead filled with heartbreak. See my world looks a whole lot different than it did five years ago.
See five years ago we were beginning our journey with the Coast Guard. I was a proud girlfriend in the crowd watching my handsome boyfriend pursue his passion. He stood proudly as he graduated from basic training. He was so excited for the adventures that were to come. He could not wait to report to New Orleans for his first station. He has every intention to follow his heart's desire to become a rescue diver. And for me, I knew that I had signed up to someday be his loving Coast Guard wife. 
That dream was quickly shattered three years ago this week, and tonight on this car ride I sit resting my feet upon my coastie's wheelchair. So this time in New Jersey things look a lot different.  Tomorrow my coastie will put on his dress blues, and then transfer into his chair. He will present his little brother with his certificate, and then he will wheel away. His brother will report to his first station in New York, while we will return to our home in Denver (a city that was chosen based on his recovery). 
It is not that I am jealous of his little brother, and his adventure with the coast guard. It is that I know how much it meant to my sweet husband, and my heartbreaks for him. I know it will be difficult for him to put on his uniform while not being active. I know it will be devastating to wheel around Cape May, a place he spent eight weeks of his life, running. I know these things, because I know him better than I have ever known anyone. 
Our lives have changed since the accident. Not all of it is bad, in fact most of it is absolutely wonderful. But this, watching my husband hurt, this is bad. This is devastating. 

XOXO, 
B



Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. Breakfast at LillysNovember 12, 2015 at 7:30 PM

    This post made me tear up.
    I am glad you're being so positive in a tough situation and although this will be difficult for him, I am sure your husband will put on a brave face for his brother.

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Learning Curve

As I sit here this morning trying to put all the words that are in my head onto this paper I am having a hard time coming up with the right way to describe what I am hoping to change/do with this blog in this new season of my life. See writing has always been a passion of mine , but finding the time , finding the bravery , and just doing it is where I have struggled. I have kept this blog as more of a personal place where I write about what life is like as a Wilson here on Dusk Way , but over the years I have had dreams of making it into more of a lifestyle blog . I have so many passions and thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis but fear has held me back time and time again. Fear of not being a successful blogger , fear of what friends and family would think , and most of all fear of letting myself down . But now it is time to put that fear aside and just write, so hopefully this blog will be going through a learning curve . Ideally this blog will move from...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Side Of That Horrific Day

Today is September 1st which in it of itself brings so many wonderful things. The start of football, which is just absolutely perfect, the start of pumpkin spice everything, and the start of Spinal Cord Injury Awareness month. This month is something that honestly up until four years ago I had no idea existed, but four years ago we joined a very rare club and our lives have looked different since. Over 200,000 people live with a SCI in the United States and Kaleb is just one of them. The next month my goal is to share my side of Kaleb's injury, Kaleb's side of his injury, the road to recovery, and where we are today.  November 10th 2012, the day our world changed forever. This was one of those days that I will remember every moment, every detail, and every emotion. I had just turned 21 five days prior and was still living in the birthday celebration glow. That morning was busy with trying to get things done through out the day so that I could head to a family member's ho...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's Okay to Not Be Okay

How often do we go through life pretending that everything is great; we post only the best photos, we smile when we would rather cry, and we float through life faking it the best we can. We run into friends at church on Sunday mornings and chat about how wonderful we are and how great everything is, but we leave out the fact that all we could really use is a hug and a gentle reminder that it's perfectly okay to not be okay. In fact the crazy part of it all is it's perfectly normal to go through life with emotions, heck Jesus himself felt emotions. I'm sure we all remember when he got mad in the temple and flipped the table, well in that moment he wasn't okay. As a new mom still adjusting to this wonderful world of motherhood I find myself not okay pretty often. I'm either exhausted because the baby didn't sleep or because the baby nursed all day, or I'm feeling a little lost trying to rediscover my role as Brittany, or I'm just a little anxious becaus...
Post a Comment
Read more