Beautiful Struggles

        My Sweet Eloise Jeanne, Month nine has come and gone and mama has been the worst at putting this together. Has with every month this one has been equally busy and equally different. I find myself smelling your sweet baby scent as it becomes fainter. I hold you nightly after you have fallen asleep staring at your sweet tiny face. This month I feel that we said goodbye to my baby baby and began welcoming our soon to be toddler. Your personality has come out in force, you know what you want and will do whatever it takes to get it. You are determined and strong willed, both qualities that I know will take you far in the future. I miss my baby baby but love playing with my new toddler girl. This month was a huge month for mobility. We went from not really being able to move at all to moving constantly. On July 25th you began trying to army crawl and can successfully get yourself from one place to another. On Friday,...

Well beautiful we are another month closer to your big first birthday. As we inch closer and closer I seem to remember more and more those first moments with you. Like the moment that I finally made it into post op and they put you on my chest, it was as though all the pain of my c section was gone and time stood still. Or the moment of watching your dad and the nurses give you your first bath, I longed to be there by your side but also loved that it was your daddy with you. These moments fill my heart often, but as often as I long for those first few days I am just as eager to see where you go in this great big world. You have so much personality and drive that I know you are going to be one amazing adult. You are strong willed but never will I say that's a bad thing. You are quiet, observant, cautious, and slow. You don't make a single move without thinking it through. Your smile is contagious and you are still rarely seen without it. You are perfect! This month was fi...

Last week we spent the entire week in Cincinnati for the national veterans wheelchair games, which was probably one of the most incredible experiences of my life, but we will save that for a different post. We met great people, had wonderful conversation, and took our sweet girl on her first airplane ride. Being the crazy mom that I am, I stressed about the plane ride for far to long and made way to many mental notes on how to survive it. I asked everyone who had ever flown with a child what to do and received some great advice. My goal is to break it down into the top 10 things you "need" in order to survive flying with a baby! 1. Plastic Bags are Your Friend Prior to heading out to the airport I separated Ellie's diaper back with gallon size baggies. I had all her diapers and wipes packed in one, toys in another, and food in it's own. It made fast diaper changes before take off a breeze, as well as finding snacks in the air. Everything had its place an...

My Sweet Maggoo,  How is it that we are on the backside of your first year? It seems like yesterday we were sitting in anticipation of meeting your tiny little soul and yet here we are seven months in. I think back to the day you were born after  days of labor and how though we were exhausted we could not sleep. I didn't want to close my eyes for a second in fear of missing something you would do. I could stare at you in awe that thing I prayed so desperately for was laying on my chest in the shape of the most perfect little girl. Seven months later I still hold you on my chest or sit and watch you sleep in awe that you are real. It is as though I am living in a dream where all my hopes and prayers have come true. Seeing you discover new things, accomplish milestones, and become you is just perfect. You have the best little personality and this month it has began to shine through. You are no longer my sweet tiny cuddly baby, but this little baby who is ready to g...

How often do we go through life pretending that everything is great; we post only the best photos, we smile when we would rather cry, and we float through life faking it the best we can. We run into friends at church on Sunday mornings and chat about how wonderful we are and how great everything is, but we leave out the fact that all we could really use is a hug and a gentle reminder that it's perfectly okay to not be okay. In fact the crazy part of it all is it's perfectly normal to go through life with emotions, heck Jesus himself felt emotions. I'm sure we all remember when he got mad in the temple and flipped the table, well in that moment he wasn't okay. As a new mom still adjusting to this wonderful world of motherhood I find myself not okay pretty often. I'm either exhausted because the baby didn't sleep or because the baby nursed all day, or I'm feeling a little lost trying to rediscover my role as Brittany, or I'm just a little anxious becaus...

Happy Half Birthday Ellie Girl,  It is bitter sweet to sit here and write your six month blog post, which is probably why I have put it off. The days are going by faster and faster, and I would do anything to slow them down just a tiny bit. I find myself rubbing your perfect smooth wonderful face trying to memorize exactly what it feels like because I know it will change so soon. I rub your sweet little hair that is finally coming in embracing the gentle feeling of peach fuzz. I take a million pictures because I know these days are short and these moments are priceless. The last six months of our lives have been enchanting with you by our side. Being your mom is more incredible than I could ever imagine. You bring me so much joy, I feel so much pride, you are the best part of me. These six months have been the greatest and you sweet baby are to thank! This month you have once again been a little busy bee! You learned to  roll from back to tummy and now spend mos...

Ellie Belly,  I have asked your dad countless times over the last couple weeks if he ever looks at you and wants to cry, he always looks at me like I am crazy and just chuckles. You do captivate me Eloise Jeanne, I look at you and it is like looking at my heart beating on the outside of my chest. I have never felt more love for anyone than I do for you. I love every little nose wrinkle, every squeal, every sleepy moment, and even every cry. These last five months with you have been the most incredible and fulfilling months of my life. I adore being your dad's wife and that brings me so much pride, but being your mom is something so different. It is everything I have ever prayed for and everything I have ever dreamed about. You are our greatest love story sweet princess, you are our legacy. Someday we pray that you will have siblings and that our love will continue to grow and expand, but right in this moment you are our pride and our joy. You are our ...