Beautiful Struggles

My Sweet Eloise Jeanne,  You are becoming less and less little baby and more and more little girl. Your eyes show so much emotion, they smile long before your mouth does. You take the world in, observing everything that goes on around you. I want to so badly keep you in this home sheltered from the great big world, but I know that someday you will be on your own figuring things out as you go. So for now I will cuddle you, love on you, and pray over you. You are everything imagined you would be and so much more. It has only been four months with you, and yet I feel like you have been with me forever. I love every second with you; even the moments that I am knee deep in a blow out or covered in your spit up because I know they are moments that will go by to fast.  You are a busy little girl and month four was no different! GG came to visit and so did grandma and grandpa, they all love watching you grow and learn! You love being cuddled by GG and ...

Hello Little Lady,  You are a fourth of a way through the most incredible year. Your little personality is shinining through more and more every day and I love seeing you change. When you are home with Mom and Dad you are filled with coos, smiles, and squeaks yet when we are out you are quiet, peaceful, and observant. Your smile lights up the world, your squeaks are the sweetest sounds I have ever heard, and your cuddles, your cuddles prove to me that my arms were made to hold you forever. You were made for me and I was made for you.  The lord knit you together in my womb and kept you for nine wonderful months. He then trusted your Dad and me to fill your life with love, guidance from the lord, and wisdom that can only be found through him. For these reasons on February 4th 2017 at Harvest Bible Chapel we dedicated ourselves to seek the lord first and foremost in raising you. This was one of the most wonderful days that we have experienced with you. It was simple, ...

  Two months, I still am not sure how I have already been called Mama by this beautiful little girl for two months but I have. And after two months, or 61 days I will admit I have learned a few things in this short time that I would love to share with those other mamas out there.  • Don't be afraid of the bottle.  For us Eloise was introduced to the bottle when we were in the hospital because she was three weeks early and a c section my milk was a little delayed so she was fed a little off of me and then given donor milk. She had a hard time staying awake for a whole feeding so donor milk allowed her to be bottle. Anyways we continued to give her my pumped milk in a bottle nearly once a day so that Kaleb could participate in the bonding experience.  So my adivice to you new moms out there is don't be afraid to allow the bottle in your life, dad will love the opportunity to participate!  •Sleep when they sleep.  Everyone will tell you this, but it is so hard...

Hello Little Baby, You are two perfect months old and I am lost in a world of love with you. You are the best teacher I have ever had. You have taught me that life must be flexible. That the best moments are far from planned. That in order to love you more I must first love myself. That being covered in your poo after changing a blow out is not a tragedy but a beautiful moment of motherhood. You have shown me what unconditional love is and have allowed me to feel unconditional love. I love learning motherhood with you as my sidekick.  Month two was a very busy month with so many firsts for you. You celebrated your first Christmas spent here at your first home. You spent it with your mama and daddy as well as both sets of grandparents your Aunt Katie and Uncle Cody even made the trip to spend the time with you. You had your first visit from Santa who brought you a beautiful jewelry box, while momma and daddy gave you a gold elephant snow globe. You also welcom...

My Sweet Princess,  One month, how did that happen? There's a Winnie The Pooh quote that states "Oh no, please. Can't we just go back to page one and start all over again?", and sweet baby that is exactly how I feel. Oh how I would love to go back to day one and meet you all over again, and yet I cannot wait to see who you become.  You currently look just like your daddy, especially with your beautiful almond shaped eyes. Your hair is a light brown, but I believe everyone still has their fingers crossed that you will end up with red hair like your daddy (though I would be okay with a brown haired little girl). Your eyes my sweet girl are blue, I believe they are my eyes (but who knows). Your eyes have changed from sleepy eyes that look like they are looking through you to these big blue eyes that are filled with wonder. My favorite moments are when you are lying on my chest and you turn and look up at me. In those moments I feel like you k...

Today marks two weeks since we brought our princess home to Dusk Way, two weeks since we started this grand adventure of parenthood without nurses and doctors guiding us along the way. Yet, I have been trying to process her birth for the last 17 days. I have gone over with doctors, nurses, my incredible husband, and my sweet mom the events that happened over two days that eventually led to bringing our daughter into the world. So today, two weeks after we have come home, I sit here to type out Eloise's birth story in hopes of possibly finding some understanding, or at least to have it documented. Ellie's birth story is actually much longer than just her birth, it started two the week prior to ever moving forward with her induction. On November 10th I contacted my doctor after suffering from a severe headache (almost migraine like) for two days, I was extremely swollen, and had been vomiting. I will never forget the terror I felt when Nikki, our nurse, called m...